What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

For an unpublished short story writer, what magazines or online publications offer the best chance of being recognized?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Did you become a cuckold for your wife?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Make Nazis afraid again!

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

How do I come out as queer to my best friend in a funny and stupid way?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!